Top Ten Lame or Not-So-Lame Excuses Not To Get to the Lake
In New Mexico, most of the people who sail have to travel a great distance to get to the lake. That distance imposes hardships. In response to Tillerman's challenge, to create a list related to sailing, here is a list of excuses that have been used by sailors in the desert to explain why they haven't come to the lake to sail on a particular weekend:
10. I went to a party in Juarez, and in the morning I was so hung-over I couldn't even think about going to the lake.
9. My car broke down, so I couldn't come to the lake.
8. I was getting my mortgage refinanced, and the appraiser was supposed to come. I waited all day, but the appraiser never did show up.
7. I had a sick cat that I had to take to the vet.
6. The weather forecast was for no wind, so I didn't want to drive for two hours and not end up going sailing.
5. The weather forecast was for way too much wind, so I didn't want to drive for two hours and not end up going sailing.
4. I went to visit my new girlfriend, and her violent boyfriend (she had lied and called him "ex") slashed my tires.
3. My boat suffered serious damage in a storm last spring; a bunch of other people said they'd lend me boats to sail while mine was getting repairs, but none of them came through.
2. I was getting inducted into the Ohio Track and Field Hall of Fame, and I didn't want to dishonor Jesse Owens by not showing up to be honored alongside him.
1. I didn't know you were counting on me.
OK, it's pretty clear, these are all Zorro's excuses. The thing is, even though some of them make him look bad, I can still forgive him for them. I do love him, and he would have to do something seriously egregious before I would stop loving him. I am, and will always be, his number-one fan.
Labels: boats, friends, racing, sailing, team zorro
posted by Carol Anne | 6:13 AM
2 Comments:
Did you maybe forget a few... some of these may be more real than others.
"I had a rollover accident the weekend before."
"The dead guy who registered my car for me forgot to re-register it."
"I was supposed to get four sails from a guy who was hauling a boat between Houston and San Diego, but he didn't keep his appointment."
"The girls in the massage parlor were completely out of chocolate and I had to rescue them."
"One of the guys who works for one of my friends in Juarez was knifed/shot and killed so we all had to go to the wake and funeral."
"Business in Juarez is bad because of the Swine Flu epidemic, so I went over there to cheer people up."
"A Nigerian tribal chief/college in Texas/company in Belize/dictator in south America/ university in Indonesia needs a proposal on a new running track."
"The suspension/rear end/ ____ went out and I can't drive the car out of town."
"My crew decided to party and get hung over instead of preparing for the regatta."
"There was a fire that damaged the building in back that I use as a sail loft and gym."
"A Border Patrol agent set traps for one of my cats and I had to go to the pound to rescue her."
"Torrential rains flooded my basement."
"I had to swap (engines/ injectors/ brakes/ fuel pumps/ ____ between the yellow/ blue/ gold Mercedes."
"The predicted weather was cold and overcast and maybe rainy."
"I was helping a friend hide from the drug cartel / Texas Rangers / ex-boyfriend."
"I was recruiting donors for the University."
"I got a tank of contaminated diesel."
"I ran out of bottom paint to re-do the keel and rudder."
"My ex-wife had an emergency when ______ ."
"I realized there wasn't a second paddle on my boat and so it wasn't class-legal to race."
How about " Soraya and me were stuck on the bridge"
" Blame it on Blondie"
Best line of the last 6 months...
" Zorro is in love, or thinks he is"
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